Final week, I wrote an article I used to be positive would tank. I imply, who actually must know what sort of bread their persona sort can be? However the thought wouldn’t go away me alone, so I went with it. And, weirdly, it turned out to work. Seems, individuals actually wish to know in the event that they’re a baguette or a cinnamon swirl (INTJs, you’re completely Ezekiel bread—dense, complicated, and never for the faint of coronary heart).
Since then, I’ve had extra requests than I can rely to do the identical factor for the Enneagram. And I assumed I’d give it a attempt! So, are you able to dive into the carb cupboard and discover out which bread embodies your Enneatype? Let’s get this gluten get together began.
Right here’s the Bread You’d Be, Primarily based On Your Enneagram Sort
Enneagram 1: Sourdough That Judges Your Life Selections however Nonetheless Feeds You
Ah, sourdough. Meticulously nurtured, consumed a strict schedule, and judged harshly if the crust isn’t good. If bread had an internal critic, it could positively be sourdough. Each bubble within the crumb? Analyzed. Each rise and fall? Monitored like a life-or-death state of affairs.
And truthfully, if you happen to’re a Sort 1, this seems like house. You’re not content material with “ok.” You need excellence—whether or not it’s reaching ethical perfection or getting the precise steadiness of tang in your starter. However right here’s the factor: even when sourdough feels somewhat too inflexible, it’s nonetheless comforting. It’s the bread that exhibits up, does the work, and feeds the soul (however not with no little nervousness about whether or not it rose appropriately in a single day).
Relatable? Possibly you’ve by no means truly made sourdough as a result of the stress would preserve you up at night time. However I promise, if you happen to did? You’d have the very best loaf on the block.
You may additionally get pleasure from: The Enneagram 1 Instinctual Variants
Enneagram 2: The Helper – Hawaiian Roll That Exhibits Up with Further Butter and Emotional Help
Hawaiian rolls don’t simply sit there. They invite you in. Mushy, candy, and just a bit bit addictive, they make you are feeling like every thing goes to be okay. And that, expensive Sort 2s, is your bread equal. Hawaiian rolls don’t simply wish to be a part of the meal—they have to be a part of the meal. They’re happiest after they’re making different dishes shine. Turkey? Higher with a Hawaiian roll. Ham? Clearly wants a roll. Leftover mashed potatoes? Put it in a roll.
However right here’s the key: Hawaiian rolls might seem to be they’re all about giving, however they’re additionally irresistible. They wish to be wanted. And identical to Sort 2s, they may give and provides till they’re stretched somewhat skinny. As a result of let’s be sincere—being the bread that everybody counts on? It’s exhausting generally.
If a Hawaiian roll had been an individual: They’d be the one baking cookies for the entire neighborhood, checking in on you whenever you’re sick, and insisting they’re nice even after they’re clearly working on fumes. However you’re keen on them an excessive amount of to ever say no.
You may additionally get pleasure from: The Enneagram 2 Instinctual Variants
Enneagram 3: The Achiever – Bagel That’s Shiny, Polished, and All the time Attempting to Be Every thing
Bagels don’t mess around. They’re dense, polished, and have that good shiny exterior that screams, “I’ve acquired my life collectively.” You don’t simply casually make a bagel. It takes effort. Time. Boiling, baking, perfection. And Sort 3s? You’re that bagel.
Bagels are versatile. They adapt. Need cream cheese? Performed. Want a breakfast sandwich that can preserve you going all day? Bagel’s acquired your again. However beneath that shiny, polished floor? Bagels could be… somewhat robust. They maintain all of it collectively, however generally, that internal dough is below loads of strain.
And let’s not neglect—bagels generally tend to unfold themselves somewhat skinny. Critically, Sort 3s, you’re doing rather a lot. You’re the bread that’s juggling success, expectations, and every thing in between. And when you would possibly look effortlessly put collectively, generally you simply want a second to breathe earlier than you toast your self into oblivion.
If a bagel had been an individual: They’d have a LinkedIn profile that makes you query all of your life selections, a facet hustle they’re in some way crushing, and a calendar so full it makes Google Docs cry. However they’ll nonetheless in some way discover time to examine in and ask, “How’s your week going?” (whereas mentally planning their subsequent transfer).
You may additionally get pleasure from: Right here’s How You Procrastinate, Primarily based On Your Enneagram Sort
Enneagram 4: The Individualist – Cozonac That’s Candy, Swirled, and Barely Mysterious
Cozonac will not be right here to mix in. This Romanian candy bread is additional—wealthy, buttery, swirled with chocolate or nuts, and unapologetically decadent. It doesn’t simply present up on the desk. It arrives with aptitude, a contact of thriller, and the quiet confidence of realizing it’s one-of-a-kind. Sound acquainted, Sort 4?
Like cozonac, you’re not thinking about being simply one other loaf within the breadbox. You need depth. Emotion. Drama. And let’s be actual—generally you go all in on complexity, including layer after layer as a result of plain and easy? That’s not your vibe. You’re the bread that makes individuals pause mid-bite and ask, “Wait…what is that this?” And you’re keen on that. You reside for that second.
However right here’s the factor: cozonac can be fragile. It takes persistence and care to get it good. An excessive amount of warmth? It dries out. Too little? It stays dense and heavy. Like Sort 4s, cozonac walks that nice line between brilliance and collapse—and when it hits that good steadiness? There’s nothing fairly prefer it.
If cozonac had been an individual: They’d have an eclectic wardrobe, a playlist filled with obscure indie tracks, and an uncanny potential to make you are feeling such as you’re residing in a coming-of-age movie. They could be somewhat intense generally, however truthfully? You wouldn’t have it some other manner.
You may additionally get pleasure from: How the Enneagram Sorts Act When They Have a Crush
Sort 5: The Investigator – Hardtack That’s Robust, Dry, and Survives Higher Alone
If bread had an apocalypse plan, it could positively be hardtack. No fluff. No nonsense. Simply pure, unyielding sturdiness. And Sort 5s? You’re the hardtack of the Enneagram world.
Hardtack doesn’t want fixed consideration. It thrives in solitude, tucked away in a cool, dry place, quietly getting ready for no matter would possibly come subsequent. And such as you, Sort 5, it’s all about being prepared. Able to survive, able to problem-solve, able to last more than anybody else within the pantry. Folks won’t assume they want hardtack, however when the storm hits? All of the sudden, they’re very grateful for its quiet resilience.
However let’s be actual—hardtack can get somewhat…properly, dry. It’s not identified for being heat or inviting, and it takes loads of effort to melt up. Sort 5s, I get it. You’re not at all times fast to let individuals in. However identical to hardtack soaking in somewhat broth, you’re able to deep heat and sustenance as soon as somebody takes the time to know what’s beneath the floor.
If hardtack had been an individual: They’d have a completely stocked emergency equipment, a formidable data of area of interest subjects, and a library card that’s been maxed out for years. They may not be the lifetime of the get together, however when issues get actual? Hardtack’s the one maintaining everybody afloat.
Learn This Subsequent: The Enneagram Sorts as Uncommon, Stunning Phrases
Sort 6: The Loyalist – Potato Bread That’s Mushy, Dependable, and All the time Ready for Catastrophe
Potato bread is consolation. It’s tender, reliable, and truthfully? It’s the type of bread that sticks with you thru thick and skinny. Sort 6s, that is your carb counterpart. Potato bread doesn’t attempt to steal the highlight, however it’s the spine of any good meal. It’s the slice that feels acquainted, that reminds you of house, that makes you assume, “Yeah…that is the place I belong.”
Like Sort 6s, potato bread is dependable. It doesn’t crumble when issues get messy. It holds every thing collectively—sandwiches, grilled cheese, even the occasional midnight snack. And it’s not flashy, however it’s at all times there whenever you want it. Potato bread doesn’t simply present up. It commits.
However right here’s the factor: potato bread could be too accommodating. It’s so busy holding every thing collectively that it forgets to handle itself. Sound acquainted, Sort 6? You’re always watching out for everybody, ensuring the ship doesn’t sink, however don’t neglect—you deserve somewhat heat and butter, too.
If potato bread had been an individual: They’d be the one remembering everybody’s birthdays, organizing emergency plans simply in case, and double-checking that you just locked the door earlier than mattress. They’re not flashy, however you would possibly simply be misplaced with out them.
Learn This Subsequent: The Enneagram 6 Relationship and Compatibility Information
Sort 7: The Fanatic – Croissant That’s Flaky, Buttery, and All the time Prepared for the Subsequent Journey
Croissants don’t simply sit there. They dazzle. Buttery, flaky, and virtually vibrating with potential, croissants are at all times prepared for the subsequent journey. Need one thing candy? Croissant. One thing savory? Croissant. One thing that makes you are feeling such as you’re residing your greatest Parisian fantasy? Clearly, croissant.
Sort 7s, you’re that burst of vitality in bread kind. You’re at all times chasing the subsequent thrill, the subsequent expertise. However right here’s the factor: croissants could be…somewhat high-maintenance. All that layering and folding? Exhausting.
If a croissant had been an individual: They’d be the spontaneous pal texting you a couple of last-minute highway journey, suggesting a brand new interest each week, and in some way managing to make even grocery purchasing really feel like an journey. However after they hit a wall? You’d higher have some butter on standby.
Sort 8: The Challenger – Texas Toast That’s Thick, Daring, and Unapologetically in Cost
Texas toast doesn’t ask for permission. It simply exhibits up, twice as thick as common bread, able to dominate the plate. It’s daring. It’s unapologetic. And it doesn’t care if you happen to assume it’s “an excessive amount of.” Sort 8s, you’re Texas toast.
That is bread that is aware of it’s in cost. Slathered in butter, crisped to perfection, and holding its floor towards even the messiest of meals, Texas toast doesn’t simply exist—it instructions consideration. And like Sort 8s, it doesn’t do something midway. If Texas toast is a part of the meal, it’s a part of the meal.
However right here’s the factor—beneath that crispy, golden floor? Texas toast is tender. It’s acquired a heat, fluffy heart that most individuals don’t see straight away. And identical to Sort 8s, it protects that softness with every thing it’s acquired.
If Texas toast had been an individual: They’d be the one stepping as much as deal with any disaster, calling out nonsense after they see it, and fiercely defending the individuals they love.
Sort 9: The Peacemaker – Naan That’s Versatile, Heat, and Simply Desires Everybody to Get Alongside
Naan is right here for everybody. Mushy, heat, and endlessly adaptable, naan is the bread that brings individuals collectively. Sort 9s, that is you. Naan doesn’t have to be the star of the present, however in some way? It at all times finally ends up making every thing higher. Curry? Higher with naan. Hummus? Clearly naan. Random leftovers you don’t know what to do with? Naan’s acquired you coated.
Like Sort 9s, naan is versatile and prepared—at all times able to accommodate no matter’s taking place round it. It’s heat, comforting, and simply desires everybody to get alongside. However let’s be actual—naan could be too accommodating. It’s so busy absorbing everybody else’s flavors that it generally forgets it’s scrumptious all by itself.
Sort 9s, I see you. You’re the glue that holds issues collectively, however don’t lose your self attempting to be every thing for everybody. Even naan deserves to be savored by itself generally.
If naan had been an individual: They’d be the one diffusing pressure with a joke, nodding alongside to everybody’s frustrations, and ensuring everybody has sufficient to eat. However deep down? They’re dreaming of a second the place they get to be themselves—not simply what everybody else wants.
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What Do You Assume?
Do you relate to your breadbox companion? Have a special perspective? Let me know within the feedback! I’d love to listen to from you!
