Sarah Chauncey on dealing with the lack of a pet, the drawing that grew to become the beginning of the guide, and being counterintuitive.
By Zazie Todd PhD
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The grief we really feel on the lack of a pet remains to be a form of disenfranchised grief. Sarah Chauncey’s PS. I Love You Extra Than Tuna is a poignant and touching meditation on pet loss, fantastically illustrated by Francis Tremblay. It is the right reward for anybody who has misplaced a cat, or certainly any form of pet. It made me cry (however in a great way) and I’ve given it to buddies to assist convey them consolation after they have misplaced their pet.
You’ll be able to hear Sarah Chauncey speak in regards to the guide at Bark! Fest, the guide pageant for animal lovers. She’s on a panel referred to as Our Bond with Cats with Sarah Chauncey, Sassafras Patterdale (Lowrey), and Rachel Wells.
P.S. I Love You Extra Than Tuna is accessible from all good bookstores, together with by way of Bookshop (and Bookshop UK) which help unbiased bookstores, in addition to my Amazon retailer.
Under, Sarah Chauncey solutions my questions in regards to the guide, and shares the drawing that began all of it.
Why did you write this guide?
When my first soul-cat, Hedda, died in 2016, I couldn’t discover a lot on-line that addressed pet loss grief, particularly round cats. An artist good friend of mine despatched me a sketch of Hedda with a notice “from” her that ended “p.s. I like you greater than tuna.” Via my tears, I assumed that will be an ideal identify for a pet loss reward guide, and the imaginative and prescient was born.
{Our relationships} with animals are distinctive—pets see and settle for features of us we’d be hesitant to point out one other human. But we dwell in a tradition that largely denies the facility of the human-animal bond, so when an animal good friend dies, family and friends usually don’t know what to say, or they are saying unhelpful issues, like “Can’t you simply get one other one?” I wished Tuna to supply readers comfort and inspiration—and their buddies, the consumers, the power to supply tangible consolation.
The unique sketch by Francis Tremblay that in the end led to this guide.
What are the primary themes of your guide?
That all the things that’s born finally dies. Saying goodbye is painful, and we have now to grieve, however it doesn’t imply something is fallacious. That is simply a part of the human life expertise, like love.
The primary regulation of thermodynamics says that power can’t be created or destroyed; it may possibly solely change type. Like us, our animals are stardust—the iron of their blood, just like the iron in ours, is similar mineral that makes Mars purple. A caterpillar has to die in type earlier than a butterfly can emerge from the very same natural materials. So despite the fact that our animal buddies’ our bodies are gone, the life power that animated them will not be. It’s throughout us, all the time.
What stunned you whilst you had been writing the guide?
How little it truly needed to do with ‘writing’. I’ve been an expert inventive author for nearly 40 years, and the primary draft got here pouring out in about two hours (the guide solely incorporates 500 phrases). Against this, as lots of my buddies have identified, my common e-mail incorporates not less than twice that quantity!
It’s humorous that my most seen ‘success’ occurred with little or no of my very own enter. But—that is my shock on the response—practically each reader has stated that it made them cry in a great way and helped them to heal. That was true whereas I used to be writing it, too—I cried each time I learn the strains.
Inform me one thing about your writing course of and the way it formed this guide.
TUNA was completely different than something I’d ever written earlier than. That I may someway write one thing that turned out to be so highly effective in lower than 500 phrases nonetheless amazes me.
To pay the payments, I’m a personal writing coach and developmental editor, and with that hat on, my course of tends to be “spend lots of time in nature and with animals,” as a result of each of these permit my thoughts to settle down and my unconscious to supply up concepts. I’ve written extra about this on Jane Friedman’s web site and for Author’s Digest (July/August 2024).
Who will particularly take pleasure in this guide?
First, anybody who’s grieving the lack of a cat, who anticipates dropping a cat, or who loves cats. That’s the obvious viewers. I assumed it might solely be the primary group, however readers have informed me that even individuals with wholesome younger cats have appreciated it.
Though the primary character is a cat, the guide has been given to individuals grieving all types of animal buddies, from canines to bunnies, birds, horses and ferrets (amongst others). The cat’s journey is a metaphor for all of us, human and non-human alike.
The thought was/is for buddies, household, neighbours and colleagues to offer this guide to somebody who’s grieving; that half grew out of my very own expertise with a day by day giving follow. The follow brings me a lot pleasure that I wished to share that, too. In fact, it’s advantageous for anybody to purchase the guide for themselves, too!
What are you engaged on proper now?
On the Tuna entrance, I’ve a Substack the place I share tips about caring for a senior or unwell pet, getting ready for the eventual loss, and navigating that loss. I solely ship about one publication a month, however there’s lots of useful content material within the archive.
My ardour challenge, The Counterintuitive Information to Life, comes from hundreds of notes I took over the course of seven years of solitary contemplation and deep internal work. It’s about serving to individuals discover internal peace by studying easy methods to query their conditioning and launch what isn’t serving them. Many people undergo life on autopilot—I actually did for many years—with out questioning why we’re so inflexible round sure beliefs or why we behave particularly methods. In my expertise, discovering peace is a mixture of slowing means down, creating self-awareness expertise, unpacking our conditioning, and studying to navigate the inherent paradoxes of life. These additionally contribute to making a extra equitable world. My intention is that it will finally result in a Counterintuitive Information guide sequence.
And naturally, I’m nonetheless working as a developmental editor and author coach, a lot of which I do with my present cat, Ariel, perched on my lap.
Each week, I make some extent of spending not less than at some point immersed in nature. I dwell on the standard and unceded territory of the Coast Salish peoples and the Snuneymuxw First Nation, and I’m grateful to have the ability to discover untouched nature repeatedly.
“Though the primary character is a cat, the guide has been given to individuals grieving all types of animal buddies.”
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