Ever puzzled what an INFP of their darkish facet is like? Or perhaps you ARE an INFP and also you’re frightened that you simply’ve entered your “evil” period. Regardless of the case, I would like you to loosen up. You’re not a villain. All of us have a darkish facet that crops up infrequently. Right now we’re wanting on the INFPs. How does it come up? What sparks this mysterious flip? And how will you escape? Let’s discover out!
However to start with, what’s an INFP?
INFPs are all about beliefs, creativeness, and risk. They’re completely tuned into which means, usually in search of function in each second, each expertise, each…nicely, every little thing. In the event that they’re gazing out the window, it’s not as a result of they’re zoning out—it’s as a result of they’re contemplating how the sundown represents the fleeting nature of existence. In all probability.
For many who don’t know, INFP stands for Introvert, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving. And for INFPs, these qualities imply they’re:
Introverted: Time alone is a should. Social gatherings? Enjoyable, perhaps. However provided that there’s a snug spot to flee to with a cup of tea and a superb guide.
Intuitive: INFPs give attention to potentialities over realities. Ask them what they noticed within the forest right this moment, and so they may let you know a couple of life-altering metaphor they stumbled upon among the many bushes (or the plot to a brand new fantasy novel they’re writing).
Feeling: Choices come from the center, not a spreadsheet. Logic is revered however received’t at all times win over a superb intestine intuition or a deep, private worth.
Perceiving: Construction? Meh. Plans? Perhaps… however let’s maintain it versatile. Nothing crushes an INFP’s creativity like inflexible schedules and color-coded agendas.
However right here’s the factor: When these traits get pushed just a little too far, we discover ourselves on the trail to the INFP “darkish facet.”
Undecided what your character kind is? Take our new character questionnaire right here. Or you possibly can take the official MBTI® right here.
The INFP Darkish Facet Triggers
Even the kindest souls can flip to the darkish facet when the appropriate buttons are pressed. For INFPs, the next are a number of the huge triggers that may convey out their lesser-known shadows.
1. Stress
Stress for an INFP will be like unintentionally triggering “deep introspection mode.” They dive into their minds, replaying interactions, choices, and emotional moments—usually satisfied they missed some deeply vital element or offended somebody with out realizing it. Each previous mistake involves the forefront of their thoughts, and life begins to really feel too loud, too overwhelming, too demanding, simply “an excessive amount of.”
One INFP I labored with described how she would “zone out” for hours after a anxious state of affairs, satisfied she’d in some way tousled or upset everybody in her orbit. She’d analyze, replay, and obsess over each element till she was exhausted. In the meantime, her inbox, laundry, and life on the whole piled up.
Stress can even make INFPs withdraw, and never in a pleasing, “let’s cozy up with a guide” approach. It’s extra like, “Let’s retreat to a psychological bunker and brace for all potential emotional catastrophes.” They may ignore social commitments, keep away from pals, and find yourself feeling remoted—all whereas being too overwhelmed to succeed in out.
What makes an INFP really feel pressured? Listed here are only a few issues:
Inflexible guidelines and schedules
Having their values violated
Not sufficient time alone. An excessive amount of socializing.
Too many calls for on their time
Meaningless relationships
An absence of authenticity from others
Having their creativity stifled
Having to focus too extensively on sensory/concrete particulars
Criticism or confrontation
2. Immaturity
An immature INFP is perhaps just a little extra intense about their beliefs. They turn into so hooked up to their beliefs that they battle to see different factors of view. It’s like they’ve created a strong fort of non-public guidelines for being a “good particular person”, and you aren’t getting in except you cross an in depth ethical and philosophical background test.
One younger INFP advised me he would immediately mistrust anybody who didn’t share his identical favourite authors, assuming they “simply didn’t get it.” He felt misunderstood, remoted, and, sarcastically, very alone—with out realizing he was holding folks to a algorithm solely he was conscious of.
This may additionally seem like chasing new desires, relationships, or hobbies on the velocity of sunshine—at all times satisfied the following factor is “the one” that may lastly make every little thing make sense. After all, actuality doesn’t work that approach, and when issues inevitably fall quick, these INFPs might withdraw and return to the drafting board, beginning once more.
3. The Fi-Si Loop
This one sounds technical, but it surely’s principally an INFP changing into a shut-in who received’t depart their consolation zone. It occurs after they get trapped in a loop between Introverted Feeling (Fi) and Introverted Sensing (Si), ignoring their extra adaptable, adventurous Extraverted Instinct (Ne).
On this loop, they’re all about how they really feel and what’s acquainted. Image an INFP who’s replaying a previous argument on an infinite loop, satisfied they might have carried out one thing in another way. They give attention to previous hurts, previous wins, and something that feels comforting (even when it’s simply wallowing in previous emotional wounds).
After they’re on this mode, life exterior can appear too unpredictable, too complicated, too “ugh.” They turn into more and more protecting of their routines, their small circle, and their tried-and-true comforts. I had an INFP shopper as soon as who would keep away from attempting any new social conditions, satisfied “no person would perceive them” in the event that they heard his ideas. He’d spiral, really feel unheard, after which spiral once more—whereas barely leaving his condominium. The excellent news? By way of some bravery and exhausting work he finally was capable of escape of the loop via spending time in nature along with his household. Beginning small with straightforward actions after which constructing helped him re-forge the connection along with his Extraverted Instinct. So there IS hope! All the time.
INFP Insecurities: The Path to Nervousness, Isolation, and the Previous Replayed
INFPs are pushed by a core set of values and beliefs. They need to dwell a life that aligns with their deepest beliefs and have to really feel genuine of their actions. However this robust need to dwell “true to self” can even make them really feel susceptible—particularly in a world that usually values practicality over beliefs, and bluntness over sensitivity. Let’s dive into how this insecurity can push them towards their darkish facet, the place anxiousness, isolation, and a continuing psychological “replay” button begin to take over.
Nervousness and the Internal Critic
On the coronary heart of an INFP’s insecurity is a query that a lot of them wouldn’t dream of asking out loud: Am I ok? They may really feel not sure about whether or not their concepts are sensible or in the event that they’re making a significant influence. INFPs will be their very own hardest critics, replaying interactions and second-guessing each response: Did I say the appropriate factor? Did I come throughout as too intense?
I’ve labored with INFPs who can’t cease questioning in the event that they’ve upset somebody. They’d lie awake, analyzing each phrase of a dialog, satisfied they have been misunderstood or secretly judged. One INFP advised me he’d typically apologize for methods his phrases may have been misinterpreted—simply in case somebody may need taken one thing he stated the unsuitable approach.
This type of considering simply results in anxiousness, with INFPs worrying about each “what if” and hypothetical situation, irrespective of how unlikely. Whereas different sorts may brush off a vital remark, INFPs can carry it like a splinter they simply can’t take away. It stays below the pores and skin, feeding a quiet storm of self-doubt and insecurity.
Isolation: When the World Feels Too A lot
When their insecurities construct up, INFPs might begin to really feel like they don’t fairly match wherever. They see a world that usually appears loud, overly sensible, or perhaps a bit shallow, which may make them really feel out of sync. In the event that they begin to consider that nobody “will get” them, they could retreat inward, surrounding themselves with solely their very own ideas and emotions—the place issues really feel safer and easier.
This isolation can take many kinds. Some INFPs withdraw from social settings, preferring the corporate of their very own thoughts. Others may nonetheless work together however will maintain their truest selves hidden, satisfied that nobody would perceive the “actual” them. I bear in mind an INFP shopper who’d present as much as each social occasion however would say only some phrases your entire time. Once I requested him why, he shrugged, saying, “I’m there, however I’m probably not there.”
In these moments, INFPs usually cling to their acquainted routines, habits, and comforts. They might really feel a way of reduction being away from the world, however over time, this isolation feeds their insecurities, making them much more unsure of how they’ll be acquired in the event that they do enterprise out.
Unfavourable Replays from the Previous
For an INFP in “darkish facet” mode, the previous is a wealthy, endlessly revisited playground—particularly the destructive bits. They might replay hurtful feedback, awkward moments, or perceived failures again and again, analyzing each element and questioning if they might have carried out issues in another way. It’s as in the event that they’re watching a nasty film on repeat, hoping this time it is going to finish in another way.
INFPs are significantly vulnerable to fixating on moments the place they felt misunderstood, embarrassed, or unappreciated. One INFP I labored with advised me she’d replayed a dialog from two years in the past, nonetheless wincing over one thing she wished she’d stated in another way. For her, that reminiscence wasn’t “previous”; it was alive, vivid, and simply as painful because it had been the primary time round.
These replays are sometimes fueled by a sense of “not sufficient”—not assertive sufficient, not intelligent sufficient, not expressive sufficient. It’s a destructive spiral the place every replay makes them really feel extra disconnected, much less understood, and much more reluctant to take dangers sooner or later. Paradoxically, the very qualities that make them so reflective and insightful are additionally what make it really easy to get caught in these psychological loops.
Insecurity, left unchecked, can flip an INFP’s best strengths—empathy, introspection, idealism—right into a breeding floor for anxiousness, self-doubt, and self-imposed solitude. However recognizing this sample is step one to transferring out of the shadows. Within the subsequent part, we’ll discuss how INFPs can break away from these replays, handle anxiousness, and keep linked to the world with out dropping their authenticity.
Discovering the Great thing about the World and the Good Inside
When INFPs flip the web page from insecurity and isolation, they usually discover themselves in a world that’s richer, brighter, and way more lovely than they remembered. There’s this shift—typically gradual, typically sudden—the place they begin to see the infinite potential round them and the chances they’d forgotten. And on this awakening, they uncover that the world and their very own interior world have a lot extra to supply.
The Creativeness Reignited
Creativeness is like an previous pal for the INFP, however one that may get quiet when insecurities take over. As soon as they begin letting go of self-doubt, the creativeness flares again to life. They bear in mind the “what ifs” that weren’t “what if I smash all my relationships and find yourself alone without end?” and so they let go of continually attempting to be “ok.”
One INFP I knew shared how he felt like he’d rediscovered an interior world he’d misplaced contact with. After years of feeling weighed down by each day life and concern of judgment, he began writing once more. For him, the method wasn’t about reaching something—it was only for the enjoyment of making, of giving life to concepts he’d been pushing apart. “It’s like I’m seeing issues in shade once more,” he stated. And it was true: when INFPs reconnect with their creativeness, even the mundane can appear filled with risk.
Tip: Brainstorm your technique to pleasure.
Seize a pocket book and let your self “free-write” all of the wild concepts you possibly can consider. Assume huge, assume bizarre—whether or not it’s dreaming up with a brand new guide concept or arising with ten methods you’d redesign the world should you have been in cost. The aim right here isn’t to make sense; it’s to remind your self that your creativeness is a superpower.
And should you’re feeling significantly daring, attempt one in every of these concepts out in actual life.
The Great thing about the World: Seeing the Massive Image Once more
When an INFP steps out of the “darkish facet,” they begin to see the world much less as a spot that may decide or misunderstand them, and extra as an unlimited playground of inspiration, magnificence, and marvel. They’re usually drawn to nature, artwork, and even small moments of kindness—something that reminds them of the great on the earth.
I had an INFP shopper who started taking lengthy walks in nature each time life obtained too hectic. She described how simply watching the daylight gleam via the leaves or listening to the wind was like remedy for her. These moments reminded her that life was greater than her worries and that there was a complete world exterior of her thoughts that was ready to be skilled. For INFPs, these small, conscious experiences will be deeply therapeutic. They remind them that there’s magnificence throughout and that they don’t have to remain confined of their heads.
Tip: Faux you’re an alien.
No, actually. Subsequent time you’re feeling disconnected, attempt wanting on the world such as you’re seeing it for the primary time. You may ask your self, “What is that this unusual, fascinating object referred to as…bread?” or “Why are people at all times dashing?” Take within the particulars, the colours, the sounds, and the “huge image” of all of it.
For those who’re round folks, observe their quirks such as you’re conducting just a little (innocent!) experiment. Watch how somebody laughs, or the best way they speak with their fingers. Life is filled with little treasures while you give your self permission to look intently.
Rediscovering the Good Inside
One of the vital vital components of an INFP’s journey is realizing that they’re sufficient—that there’s good in them, simply as they’re. INFPs are naturally exhausting on themselves, at all times pushing to be extra genuine, extra compassionate, extra true. However after they give themselves permission to be human, flaws and all, they discover a gentler, kinder facet of self-reflection.
Self-forgiveness is a giant piece of this puzzle. For some INFPs, it’s a matter of wanting again at these “cringe” moments they’ve replayed and saying, “Okay, that was awkward, but it surely’s carried out, and that’s simply a part of the human expertise.” One INFP advised me she began preserving a journal only for moments of self-forgiveness. She’d write down every little thing she’d been beating herself up over, from a missed deadline to an previous argument. “I spotted I’d by no means be that onerous on a pal, so why was I doing it to myself?” she requested. This easy act of self-kindness opened her as much as see her strengths and gave her room to really get pleasure from her distinctive items.
Tip: Excessive-five your self for the little wins.
Begin a mini custom the place, on the finish of every day, you give your self credit score for 3 stuff you did nicely. These could possibly be tiny wins, like “I remembered to water my plant” or “I managed to not overthink that textual content message”. Write them down, perform a little victory dance, or give your self an precise high-five should you’re alone (and if not, simply go for it anyway—INFPs make their very own guidelines).
And bear in mind, being a human is tough typically, so take delight in displaying up as your self, flaws and all.
Mindfulness and Expertise: Grounding within the Second
Mindfulness is a strong instrument for INFPs, serving to them keep current and linked to their environment as an alternative of getting pulled into the maze of self-defeating ideas. After they’re grounded within the right here and now, INFPs turn into extra open to new experiences and fewer prone to retreat inward. The trick is studying to let ideas come and go with out clinging to them—like watching clouds drift by with out attempting to manage the sky.
For INFPs, mindfulness isn’t only a technique to handle stress; it’s a path again to their very own sense of marvel. It reminds them that every second holds magnificence and that they don’t should dwell up to now or fear concerning the future. They will merely be.
Tip: Turn out to be an “On a regular basis Poet.”
To remain grounded, attempt writing a “poem” about one small factor you seen right this moment. (And by “poem,” I imply actually something that captures the second in your individual phrases—haikus are non-compulsory.) It could possibly be about the best way your espresso steamed within the daylight or how the leaves made a patchwork of shadows on the sidewalk. The extra particular, the higher.
The aim right here isn’t to win a Pulitzer Prize; it’s to maintain you linked to your environment. By capturing these moments, you’ll discover that they begin to really feel extra vivid, extra alive-and you could simply have the ability to publish it sometime!
What Do You Assume?
Do you relate to the INFP darkish facet? Have you ever discovered some useful methods to get out of a rut? I’d love to listen to your ideas!
For those who’re an INFP, bear in mind this: your creativeness, empathy, and depth are items the world wants. Embracing who you’re—quirks, desires, and all—can unlock unbelievable potential for creativity, connection, and function. The journey to completely understanding and appreciating your self can typically be a winding street, however there’s magnificence in each step.
Take the Subsequent Step
For these of you who need to dive deeper, I’ve written a guide only for you: The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. This eBook is designed that can assist you harness your strengths, navigate life’s challenges, and discover readability in a world that usually feels prefer it wasn’t made with INFPs in thoughts. Right here’s only a style of what you’ll discover inside:
Insights into the INFP thoughts and the way it works
Methods for dealing with stress and avoiding INFP pitfalls
Creativity hacks to convey your concepts to life
Compatibility guides and parenting ideas
Profession recommendation tailor-made to your distinctive strengths
Whether or not you’re an INFP mum or dad, in a relationship, or simply in search of extra readability and confidence, this information affords instruments and ideas that can assist you flourish. Right here’s what one reader, Amelia, shared: “The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer was very insightful and gave me a whole lot of methods to grasp myself higher. I particularly favored the creativity ideas and studying about different well-known INFPs. I’ll positively confer with this guide over the course of my life in order that I will be happier and get out of stress or loop conditions.”
For those who’d like a extra private method, I additionally supply teaching classes, the place we are able to discover your distinctive character, targets, and challenges one-on-one. These classes are tailor-made that can assist you take advantage of your strengths and acquire insights that convey extra readability, function, and pleasure to your life.
Thanks for being right here, and bear in mind: the world wants dreamers such as you. Maintain exploring, creating, and sharing that great INFP magic!
Retry later
