Have you ever ever had a kind of days the place somebody actually is getting underneath your pores and skin, however as a substitute of claiming something, you simply sit there simmering like a pot of water on low warmth? Yeah, identical. Bottling up emotions is a kind of issues all of us do on occasion, however some persona varieties are virtually masters of it. In a survey of over 80,000 folks, we requested which varieties are probably to stifle their feelings once they’re annoyed or overwhelmed by somebody or one thing. For those who’d like so as to add your voice to the survey, you are able to do to that right here!
Unsurprisingly, some varieties—like ISTJs—excel on this division. However why? This text breaks down why these varieties are likely to bottle up their feelings and the way they will launch the strain in a wholesome method. Let’s break it down.
Undecided what your persona kind is? Take our persona questionnaire right here. Or you possibly can take the official MBTI® right here.
The Myers-Briggs Persona Varieties Most Prone to Bottle Up Their Emotions
#1: ISTJs
ISTJs are the gold medalists of preserving it collectively…generally an excessive amount of. 88.82% of ISTJs stated they preserve their emotions bottled up. They’re the kind of individuals who will calmly repair a leaky pipe in the course of a twister whereas everybody else is operating round panicking. Emotions, for ISTJs, can really feel like an unproductive distraction. There are issues to do, and feelings will solely get in the best way of these issues! They’re all about order, logic, and calm composure. Feelings are unpredictable, risky, and weak. So, for ISTJs, they have an inclination to take a backseat.
One ISTJ I labored with expressed their perspective in the direction of feelings: “If I don’t speak about it, it’s prefer it’s not there. And if it’s not there, I can simply get on with my day.” One other instructed me they keep away from sharing emotions as a result of it seems like a waste of time. “If I say I’m upset, then they’re going to need to speak about it, after which nothing truly will get fastened!” This tendency to prioritize options over emotional expression makes ISTJs appear calm and unshakable on the surface—however inside, they will really feel remoted, like no one really understands them.
So what can ISTJs do to handle their emotions with out bottling them up eternally? Strive the following tips:
Put aside quiet time. Get away from the noise, seize a pocket book, and write down what you’re feeling. Seeing it on paper can assist make sense of it.
Discover one trusted individual. Perhaps it’s your companion, greatest pal, and even your canine (we gained’t decide). Apply sharing small frustrations first. “That assembly ran lengthy and it threw off my schedule” is a begin!
Consider feelings like a clogged pipe. For those who ignore it, it’s going to burst finally. Releasing some strain now could be method higher than coping with a flood later.
Keep in mind: expressing feelings is productive. It will possibly strengthen your relationships, stop resentment, and preserve you from carrying emotional baggage into the long run.
Discover out extra about ISTJs: 10 Issues You Crave Each Day as an ISTJ Persona Kind
#2: ISTPs
ISTPs are the “fixers” of the persona world. 81.25% of them stated that they bottle up their emotions more often than not. Acquired a pc virus you need assistance dispelling? An ISTP can have it discovered and cleared up earlier than you even end explaining the difficulty (sorry, ISTPs, I do know you’re already your loved ones’s tech help folks). However feelings? That’s a trickier repair. For ISTPs, emotions are like a puzzle piece that doesn’t fairly match into their logical, pragmatic world. They’re extra inquisitive about ideas than emotions, how issues work than how folks really feel.
When an ISTP is aggravated, their intuition is to detach, analyze, and transfer on fairly than dwell on the emotional facet of issues. Sharing their emotions usually feels pointless or awkward—as a substitute many seek for distraction. I do know one ISTP who goes for a drive anytime they’re upset, and one other who takes off on a run. Motion and motion appear to be a preferred coping mechanism.
One ISTP I labored with instructed me, “I don’t actually see the purpose in speaking about emotions. More often than not, I simply want some house and I’ll be advantageous.” This emotional independence could make ISTPs appear unflappable, however it could possibly additionally result in frustration when others count on them to open up in ways in which don’t really feel pure to them.
For those who’re an ISTP seeking to handle bottled-up emotions, take into account the following tips:
Channel your power. Whenever you’re annoyed, do one thing bodily like fixing, constructing, or exercising. Generally motion can assist you course of feelings with out phrases.
Experiment with small expressions. You don’t have to write down poetry about your emotions, however you might say, “That basically aggravated me,” or “I’m annoyed by this.” Preserve it easy.
Find time for solitude. ISTPs course of greatest in their very own house, so carve out time to step again and decompress.
Keep in mind: emotions are information, too. Similar to troubleshooting an issue, feelings provide you with clues about what’s working and what’s not. Use them!
Discover out extra about ISTPs: The ISTP Ti-Ni Loop (What it’s and The right way to Cope)
#3: ISFJs
ISFJs search a lifetime of tranquility and connection. But whereas they’re usually the go-to folks for emotional help, they don’t are likely to ask for it! 80.41% of them stated they bottle up their emotions once they’re upset. They have an inclination to assume, “Why burden another person with my issues once I can deal with it myself?” Their nurturing nature means they prioritize different folks’s feelings over their very own, even once they’re feeling overwhelmed.
One ISFJ respondent stated, “I’m fearful of confrontation or rocking the boat. More often than not once I’m feeling aggravated or offended, if I actually stated what I felt I’d find yourself damaging relationships which are too essential to me. So I simply inform myself it’s not value it to say something.” This quiet self-sacrifice can result in burnout and resentment if ISFJs don’t discover wholesome methods to share what they’re feeling.
Listed below are some ideas for ISFJs to launch bottled-up feelings:
Apply journaling. Writing can assist you make clear your emotions and acknowledge patterns in your feelings.
Be taught to say no. It’s okay to set boundaries and prioritize your well-being over pleasing everybody else.
Begin with small disclosures. Inform somebody you belief, “I’m feeling just a little overwhelmed currently,” and see the way it feels to share.
Remind your self: your emotions matter. You’re not a burden. Caring for your self helps you be there for others, too.
Discover out extra about ISFJs: Diving Deep Into the ISFJ Persona Kind
#4: INFPs
INFPs are deeply feeling, introspective people. They’re the kind to write down angsty poetry at midnight or create a portray that captures a nuanced side of the human expertise. However relating to their very own private frustrations, INFPs usually preserve issues bottled up. Actually, 79.17% of INFPs stated they bottle up their emotions once they’re aggravated or upset.
Why? As introverted feeling varieties, their feelings are deep and intensive. They’re inner. For the INFP, their emotions are their very own enterprise and it could possibly really feel prefer it’s cheapening them to blurt them out to only anybody. If they will’t discover the proper option to specific their emotions (or the proper individual to specific them to), they’ll usually say nothing in any respect.
One INFP I spoke with described it properly: “I really feel issues so deeply, however I fear that if I say what I’m feeling, it can come out improper, and folks will assume I’m overreacting.” One other stated they have an inclination to “swallow” their emotions as a result of they really feel too private. This could go away INFPs feeling stifled or like no one really understands them.
For those who’re an INFP, attempt these methods:
Specific by way of artwork. Whether or not it’s writing, portray, or music, artistic shops can assist you course of feelings.
Acknowledge how the feelings really feel in your physique. Verify in together with your Chest, Arm, Legs, and Mouth (CALM) and see how they really feel. Do you could stretch, relaxation, or shake issues off?
Problem your internal critic. Ask your self: “What’s the worst that would occur if I share this?” It’s usually much less scary than you assume.
Discover a constructive option to launch feelings after processing them. Emotions are supposed to share a specific message. When you’ve discovered the message, written it down or spoken about it, then it’s time to let it go. Take some deep breaths, and as you do think about your thoughts clearing away all of the ideas, worries, and frustrations. As you exhale, think about every emotion melting out of your physique and shake them off.
Be taught extra about INFPs: The 4 Persona Varieties INFPs Conflict with Most (and The right way to Join)
#5: INTJs
INTJs are planners and problem-solvers, at all times pondering three steps forward. For them, feelings can really feel inconvenient—one thing to “take care of” as soon as the mission is full. Actually, 76.09% of INTJs stated they bottle up their emotions when they’re upset or aggravated.
Once they’re annoyed, their pure tendency is to investigate the scenario logically fairly than dive into their emotional reactions. Sharing their emotions can really feel pointless and even dangerous, particularly in the event that they doubt others will reply constructively.
As an INTJ myself, I undoubtedly am affected by my feelings, however I are likely to push them to the facet whereas I give attention to essential duties. Then I work on problem-solving or tackling a challenge in order that I can really feel extra in management. However generally because of this I’ve harbored adverse emotions for somebody with out taking steps to right the scenario. My suggestion? Specific your frustration with somebody in a conscientious method. It will possibly assist you to to construct bridges and keep away from coping with comparable frustrations sooner or later!
I as soon as labored with an INTJ who stated, “I can’t stand losing time on emotions that don’t clear up something. If I’m upset, I’d fairly assume my method out of it.” One other INTJ instructed me they keep away from sharing feelings as a result of it makes them really feel weak, which is a place they actively attempt to keep away from. This choice for logic over emotion could make INTJs appear indifferent and even chilly, however inside, they usually lengthy for somebody who understands their internal world.
INTJs can profit from these methods to course of bottled-up feelings:
Schedule reflection time. Give your self time to course of feelings identical to you’d schedule time for planning a challenge.
Use logic to your benefit. Ask your self, “What’s the logical advantage of expressing this sense?” Typically, the reply is readability, connection, and course-correction in relationships.
Begin small. Apply saying issues like, “That basically aggravated me” or “I felt upset when that occurred.”
Deal with your bodily self. As a dominant Introverted Intuitive, it may be straightforward so that you can lose contact together with your physique and give attention to mental duties. However anger, annoyance, and stress stay in your physique. Take a second to note how your physique feels; scanning every half for rigidity, restlessness, and discomfort. Then consider some methods to take care of the bodily emotions. You may have to vent, shake your physique, stretch, do some yoga, breathe.
Be taught extra about INTJs: The Darkish Aspect of the INTJ Persona Kind
#6: INFJs
INFJs are recognized for his or her depth and emotional perception—however relating to their very own emotions? These are sometimes shoved right into a field labeled “Deal With Later (Perhaps).” Within the survey, 74.07% of INFJs admitted to bottling up their feelings. Why? INFJs have a deep-seated need to guard the concord round them. They’ll usually assume, “If I specific my anger, it’ll make every thing worse. I’ll simply take care of it by myself.” Sadly, this often means they’re strolling round with unresolved feelings that gnaw away at them like a cat caught in a cupboard.
One INFJ I labored with stated, “I can really feel everybody’s feelings round me like a radar, however I’m fearful of dumping mine on anybody else. What if they will’t deal with it?” One other INFJ instructed me they’ll rehearse precisely what they need to say, however when the second comes, their phrases evaporate, leaving them smiling awkwardly and saying, “It’s advantageous. Don’t fear about it.” INFJs usually really feel misunderstood once they attempt to specific themselves, which provides to their hesitation to open up.
Right here’s how INFJs can set free these emotions with out creating extra frustration and confusion:
Write a letter you gained’t ship. This offers you a secure option to vent with out worrying about penalties. Pour out all of the uncooked, unfiltered emotion—you may even shock your self with what comes up.
Apply small moments of honesty. Say, “That damage my emotions,” or “I didn’t like the best way that was dealt with.” Apply expressing your emotions, however briefly, easy sentences fairly than feeling like you could clarify all of it intimately.
Discover somebody who “will get” you. Different deep feelers (like INFPs or ENFJs) usually make nice sounding boards.
Keep in mind: your emotions are legitimate. They don’t have to be good or universally understood to deserve expression.
Uncover extra about INFJs: The 4 Persona Varieties INFJs Conflict with Most (and The right way to Join)
#7: ISFPs
ISFPs are deeply emotional however fiercely non-public. They don’t need anybody poking round of their emotions except they’re explicitly invited—and even then, solely on good days. Within the survey, 72.72% of ISFPs stated they bottle up their feelings. Why? For ISFPs, emotions are private and intensive. They’re meant to be processed alone fairly than blurted out to individuals who could not get it. They’ll assume, “My emotions are mine. Why ought to I drag another person into them?”
I do know an ISFP who has the dangerous luck to take care of “advice-givers” each time she tries to speak about her emotions. As a substitute of listening, folks bounce in with plenty of “ought to’s” or “mustn’t’s” fairly than merely being current and attempting to know. ISFPs don’t want plenty of recommendation once they’re confused; the truth is, that may make issues worse. They often want house and time to course of, after which IF they discuss to somebody it’s as a result of they need to talk their emotions, not as a result of they need another person to “clear up” something (except they explicitly ask for that).
One ISFP respondent stated, “If I specific my emotions, folks at all times attempt to ‘repair’ them. I don’t need recommendation.” One other ISFP stated they like to course of feelings by way of artwork—whether or not it’s portray, writing, and even simply rearranging their room. For ISFPs, their feelings usually come out in refined, artistic methods fairly than direct conversations, which may go away others clueless about what’s actually occurring.
For those who’re an ISFP, right here’s how one can gently ease into emotional expression:
Create one thing uncooked and sincere. Paint an image, write a poem, and even doodle your emotions. Expressing feelings creatively can assist you course of them with out saying a phrase.
Set boundaries with helpers. If somebody tries to “repair” you while you’re venting, say, “Thanks, however I simply want you to hear.”
Write a emotions stock. Jot down what you’re feeling and why, even when it’s simply in your eyes.
Share with somebody secure. Whether or not it’s a therapist, a sibling, or a pal who will get you, attempt to prioritize sharing extra intense and significant feelings with somebody who understands you. Sharing your emotions lets you bond, type connections, construct belief, intimacy, and loyalty. It will possibly additionally assist you to to see an issue in a brand new gentle!
Be taught extra about ISFPs: Understanding the ISFP Fi-Ni Loop
#8: INTPs
INTPs are logic-loving problem-solvers who deal with feelings like an unsolvable equation. Within the survey, 68% of INTPs stated they bottle up their feelings—and actually, they’re most likely okay with that. For INTPs, emotions can really feel irrational and messy, and so they’d a lot fairly give attention to one thing they will quantify, like what number of galaxies exist within the observable universe. Once they’re aggravated, their go-to technique is to detach, intellectualize, and file these pesky feelings away for “future evaluate” (which can or could not ever occur).
One INTP I labored with laughed whereas describing their strategy: “I’ll assume, ‘Why am I feeling this fashion? And all I get is a jumbled mess of information, like static. So I attempt to transfer on to one thing else as quick as doable.’” One other stated they really feel awkward when expressing feelings as a result of they don’t belief themselves to say it “proper.” As a substitute, they distract themselves with a e book, a documentary, or a random Wikipedia rabbit gap. Whereas this methodology retains them calm, it additionally means unresolved feelings can pile up like unwashed dishes within the sink.
Right here’s how INTPs can strategy feelings with out short-circuiting:
Analyze the emotion. Deal with your emotions like a science challenge. Ask, “What triggered this? What’s the basis trigger?” Understanding the “why” could make feelings much less overwhelming.
Vent to your self first. Strive speaking out loud or writing your emotions in a non-public notice. Listening to or seeing your ideas could make them really feel extra actual.
Schedule an “emotion test.” Take 5 minutes on the finish of the day to ask your self, “How do I really feel proper now?” (No, “meh” isn’t the one choice!) You’ll be able to even voice file it after which hear again to see if something begins to make sense.
Keep in mind: feelings aren’t issues to unravel. Generally they only want acknowledgment and acceptance to dissipate. Strive naming them, recognizing how they really feel in your physique, listening to them (what fact are they revealing? What motion are they calling for?) after which letting go.
#9: ENFPs
ENFPs are imaginative, enthusiastic, and endlessly curious—however relating to their very own emotions, they are often surprisingly guarded. Within the survey, 63.16% of ENFPs admitted to bottling up their feelings. Why? For ENFPs, emotions are private and adverse emotions can get in the best way of recent concepts and discovery. As a substitute of expressing their deeper emotions they could distract with a brand new risk or attempt to set up a brand new, thrilling challenge as a substitute.
That stated, ENFPs are extroverts and they’re extra prone to share their emotions than any introverted kind. However right here’s the factor: For those who’re on the receiving finish of an ENFP’s annoyance, attempt to be current and acknowledge how they really feel. For those who get defensive or combative it can solely make issues worse within the warmth of the second. For those who ARE an ENFP, take a break from the gang and get alone to course of. Deal with naming the feelings, listening to them, after which figuring out how they really feel in your physique. This course of alone can assist you achieve insights into what’s actually occurring.
One ENFP I labored with stated, “I’m at all times the completely satisfied one, so once I’m upset, I really feel like I’m disappointing folks.” One other shared how they’ll attempt to distract themselves by diving into new initiatives or hobbies, solely to appreciate the sentiments are nonetheless erupting within the background. ENFPs’ pure optimism could make them hesitant to dwell on negativity—however generally, you need to sit with the laborious stuff to maneuver previous it.
Right here’s how ENFPs can handle their feelings with out dropping their sparkle:
Identify it to tame it. Say your emotions out loud: “I’m annoyed as a result of I really feel misunderstood.” Naming the emotion can assist you course of it sooner.
Discuss it out. Name a trusted pal or journal as when you’re having a dialog. Externalizing your ideas will be cathartic.
Keep away from emotional multitasking. Don’t attempt to course of emotions whereas juggling a dozen different issues. Create house to focus solely on how you’re feeling.
Embrace your vulnerability. Being open about your emotions doesn’t make you “much less enjoyable”—it makes you actual and relatable.
#10: ENFJs
ENFJs are all about connection, intimacy, and understanding. They give attention to bringing folks collectively, uplifting, and creating concord. However relating to their very own emotions? That may be a difficult space to tread. Within the survey, 60.67% of ENFJs admitted to bottling up their feelings. Why? ENFJs don’t need to destroy the vibe or burden others with their issues.
“I need to speak about my emotions and I do generally,” one ENFJ stated, “However it all will depend on the individual and the context. Many occasions I really feel prefer it’s higher if I simply preserve going as a result of I’m going to create a complete new set of issues to unravel if I speak about my frustration. Half the time I find yourself having to consolation the opposite individual fairly than get the assistance I would like.”
One other ENFJ respondent admitted they usually really feel responsible for having adverse feelings in any respect, as if their very own struggles aren’t legitimate. This tendency to focus outward as a substitute of inward can go away ENFJs feeling drained and underappreciated, even once they’re surrounded by folks they’ve supported time and time once more.
Right here’s how ENFJs can course of their feelings with out feeling like they’re letting anybody down:
Give your self permission to really feel. You don’t at all times need to be “on.” It’s okay to be upset, offended, or drained—it doesn’t make you any much less wonderful.
Discover somebody who provides as a lot as you do. Vent to an individual who actively listens and reciprocates your help.
Create “me” time. Block off time in your schedule to journal, meditate, and even simply scream right into a pillow. (Sure, it helps!)
Keep in mind: self-care isn’t egocentric. You’ll be able to’t pour from an empty cup. Caring for your emotions makes you stronger for your self and others.
#11: ESFJs
ESFJs are the buddies who will keep in mind your birthday, convey you soup while you’re sick, and test in on you while you’re confused. However what about their very own feelings? Within the survey, 60.01% of ESFJs stated they bottle up their emotions. Why? ESFJs are hyper-aware of the emotional ambiance and fear about upsetting the stability. They’ll assume, “If I converse up, I’ll damage somebody or trigger battle—and that’s not value it.” So usually occasions they tuck their frustrations away and preserve smiling, even when they’re boiling inside.
One ESFJ respondent defined it like this: “I don’t need to say one thing I’ll remorse, so I simply don’t say something in any respect. By the point I work out how one can say it properly, the second has handed. I’m additionally a (Enneagram) 9 so I’m certain that has an affect.” Whereas this tendency to bottle issues up retains relationships peaceable within the brief time period, it usually results in resentment or burnout over time.
Right here’s how ESFJs can let these bottled-up emotions out with out inflicting a storm:
Begin small. Say one thing like, “I felt neglected when X occurred.” You don’t have to dive into the deep finish straight away.
Journal your ideas. Writing them down can assist you course of and make clear what you’re feeling.
Apply self-compassion. Remind your self: you matter simply as a lot as anybody else. Would you counsel a cherished one to maintain quiet? In all probability not!
Reframe confrontation. As a substitute of pondering, “I’m inflicting battle,” inform your self, “I’m creating readability and constructing connection.” Mentioning issues can assist you clear up them in the long term.
Discover out extra about ESFJs: The 4 Persona Varieties ESFJs Conflict with Most (and The right way to Join)
#12: ESTJs
ESTJs are all about objectivity, effectivity, and ensuring issues get achieved proper (ideally the primary time). So relating to feelings? They will really feel like an interruption within the schedule. Within the survey, 45.21% of ESTJs stated they bottle up their emotions. ESTJs are likely to see feelings as a non-public matter—they’re not one thing to broadcast to the world. In the event that they’re upset, their intuition is to give attention to fixing the issue fairly than unpacking the way it made them really feel.
That stated, for a lot of ESTJs, fixing the issue does imply being direct with different folks. In the event that they’re aggravated at somebody, they’re not ones to be passive-aggressive. As a substitute, they’re extra prone to say straight “Reduce it out” or “That’s inflicting an issue, cease.” But when their feelings don’t have an instantaneous resolution? Then they’re prone to put them on the backburner.
Right here’s an instance: An ESTJ I do know was annoyed along with his workload. He’d work 12 hour days and are available dwelling to a messy home, his household watching tv, and (generally) nothing to eat. He’d get offended and blow up about it, however he didn’t truly specific how the scenario made him really feel. As a substitute, he began giving instructions and attempting to get folks to choose up the mess. Sadly, this created extra frustration as a result of his household now thought he was being harsh.
Over time this made him really feel extra misunderstood, invalidated, and overwhelmed. He discovered to maintain his feelings inside as a result of his anger solely made issues worse. In his scenario, what he actually felt was unloved or unappreciated for his laborious work. However as a substitute of sitting down and calmly expressing his underlying emotions, he’d say one thing like “You all are being so lazy! Rise up off the sofa! This home is a catastrophe!”
Entering into your emotions as an ESTJ will be overwhelming. In any case, introverted feeling is your inferior perform. It’s simpler to give attention to duties and delegating. However generally this could imply a job will get achieved however your emotions are sidelined or uncared for. Over time this could result in broken relationships, loneliness, and resentment.
Listed below are some methods to course of feelings with out sidelining them fully:
Acknowledge the emotion. Ask your self, “What am I feeling proper now? Why?” Even a fast check-in can assist. As a substitute of simply specializing in the actual fact (“this home is a large number!”) give attention to how the actual fact is making you’re feeling (“I really feel like no one cares about what’s essential to me”)
Write it down. Jot down your feeling and the ‘why’ behind it.
Vent constructively. Discover somebody you belief and body it like a debrief: “Right here’s what occurred, and right here’s how I’m feeling about it.” Attempt to converse calmly and with out blame. Use “I really feel” statements and affirm that you simply simply need the opposite individual to know fairly than get defensive.
Give your self a launch. Punch a pillow, drive someplace quiet and scream within the automotive, go someplace non-public and stomp and throw a tantrum. Anger and annoyance create rigidity and restlessness, and it’s essential to let that out in a manageable method!
#13: ESFPs
ESFPs are all about freedom of self-expression, so bottling up emotions isn’t actually their factor. Actually, solely 19.07% of ESFPs within the survey stated they bottle up their emotions.
Why? ESFPs are wired to stay within the second, and that features expressing what they’re feeling because it occurs. If one thing’s bothering them, it’s prone to come out fairly rapidly—whether or not it’s a heartfelt chat with a pal or a fiery “I can’t consider you simply stated that!” throughout an argument.
One ESFP I labored with laughed as they instructed me, “I don’t have a poker face. If I’m upset, everybody is aware of it. I may not at all times have the phrases to elucidate it, however you possibly can undoubtedly inform.” One other talked about that they course of feelings greatest by way of connection: “If I’m feeling down, I’ll name a pal or exit and do one thing enjoyable. It helps me let go of it.” ESFPs need to be real, and preserving issues in and pretending it’s all okay feels faux and disingenuous to them.
For those who’re an ESFP, listed here are some tricks to preserve expressing your self with out letting feelings overwhelm you:
Take a beat. Earlier than reacting, ask your self, “What’s actually bothering me right here?” Slowing down can assist you reply thoughtfully fairly than impulsively.
Use bodily shops. Go for a stroll, dance, or hit the health club when feelings really feel too intense—motion helps you course of them.
Stability sharing. It’s nice to specific your self, however be sure to’re giving your self a while to course of alone as properly. Write your emotions down, breathe by way of them, and ask your self what the lesson is in them.
Have a good time your openness. Your means to specific emotions is a energy. Use it to construct deeper, extra significant connections.
Uncover extra about ESFPs: The ESFP and Grip Stress: What it’s and The right way to Cope
#14: ENTPs
ENTPs are at all times about downside fixing, and holding in annoyance tends to really feel counter-productive to them. They’re prone to say “lower it out” or crack a joke to cease somebody’s annoying conduct fairly than quietly put up with it. Solely 16.67% of ENTPs within the survey stated they suppress their feelings, and that tracks. ENTPs are pure communicators, and so they’ll usually specific feelings in a roundabout method, like tossing out a sarcastic remark or initiating a energetic dialog about why somebody’s conduct aggravated them.
One ENTP I labored with stated, “I don’t actually maintain issues in—it’s an excessive amount of effort. If I’m upset, you’ll most likely hear about it, however I would make it sound humorous so it doesn’t get too heavy.” One other talked about they course of emotions by speaking by way of them: “I’ll bounce concepts off a pal, even when it’s only a rant. I have to say it out loud to determine what I truly assume.” This open strategy helps ENTPs keep away from bottling up feelings, however it could possibly generally go away others questioning how critical they’re about what they’re feeling.
Right here’s how ENTPs can handle feelings whereas preserving their signature aptitude:
Get to the basis. Ask your self, “What’s the core challenge right here?” Humor is nice, however digging deeper can assist you resolve emotions extra absolutely.
Give your self house. Take a second to mirror privately—you may uncover insights or options you’d in any other case miss.
Preserve being actual. Your openness is a present. Simply be sure to’re balancing levity with honesty relating to your feelings.
#15: ESTPs
ESTPs are action-oriented, adventurous, and at all times able to sort out the following problem. Bottling up emotions? Probably not their factor. Solely 14.29% of ESTPs within the survey stated they suppress their feelings. For ESTPs, feelings are simply one other a part of life—once they really feel one thing, they’re prone to specific it within the second. Whether or not it’s by way of a blunt remark, a fast joke, or a dramatic gesture, ESTPs don’t draw back from letting folks know the place they stand.
My husband is an ESTP and he tends to behave on his frustration within the second. If he’s aggravated at somebody, they’ll comprehend it, however this doesn’t imply he’s uncontrolled. It’s key for Se-dominant (ESxPs) varieties to get a launch for the fast rush of adrenaline that frustration triggers. They could have to vent, punch a pillow, do 50 push-ups, or in any other case get out their bodily and emotional power once they’re mad.
Daniel (my husband) usually must vent or go for a drive when he’s mad. When he’s venting, I’ve discovered that he simply wants me to hear fairly than bounce in with recommendation or logical enter. Sure, ESTPs are pondering varieties, however they usually have to specific their feelings (Fe) once they’re upset, after which filter them by way of their analytical course of (Ti). As soon as he’s blurted out his emotions his Introverted Considering can kick into gear and type out what is sensible and what isn’t correct.
I requested him to elucidate it to me, and he stated “ESTPs are very bodily expressive varieties, and they also are likely to act extra impulsively as a result of they’re extra in tune with their bodily reactions. Anger simply manifests as a kind of reactions. It’s not out of the intention to harm anybody, it’s out of the need to specific how they really feel. As a result of it’s impulsive, generally it could possibly backfire or be extra explosive than it’s meant to be, as a result of they’re not serious about the top outcome, simply the immediacy of the anger. I’d advise ESTPs to interact their introverted pondering facet to validate the accuracy of what they’re feeling, then that may assist to staunch that movement of anger. Attempt to separate appearing in your impulses and the adrenaline rush you’re experiencing from the reality of what you’re feeling so that you don’t say belongings you remorse.”
Right here’s how ESTPs can deal with feelings whereas preserving their boldness intact:
Pause earlier than reacting. Take a breath and ask your self, “Are my feelings truthful and correct, or do I simply want a launch?” Be sure that to evaluate earlier than casting blame or blowing up at somebody. You could have to confront them, or you could have to blow off some steam or get a break.
Channel feelings into options. Use your pure problem-solving expertise to handle what’s bothering you in a constructive method.
Mirror in movement. Whether or not it’s strolling, exercising, or engaged on a challenge, bodily exercise can assist you course of feelings with out sitting nonetheless.
Stability bluntness with empathy. Your honesty is refreshing, however take into account how your phrases may land with others—kindness doesn’t dilute your level.
#16: ENTJs
ENTJs are strategic, pushed, and laser-focused on reaching their targets. On the subject of anger and frustration, they don’t waste time. Solely 12.16% of ENTJs within the survey stated they bottle up annoyance, whereas most give attention to addressing the issue instantly and fixing it.
One ENTJ I labored with summed it up completely: “If I’m upset, I’ll assume, ‘Is that this value my time?’ If the reply isn’t any, I transfer on. If the reply is sure, I confront the issue head-on” One other instructed me they’re selective about sharing feelings: “I’ll speak about it if it’s related to the scenario. In any other case, it’s not productive.”
My ENTJ father is extraordinarily forthright in his anger (he’s additionally an Enneagram 8, in order that has an impact). His blunt strategy tended to intimidate folks, however general it meant that he spent much less time simmering about issues as a result of he had a plan he was implementing to unravel them.
At work his strategy was usually efficient. However in relationships it was trickier. Individuals you’re keen on aren’t at all times as straightforward to direct and “repair” and I keep in mind him incessantly getting annoyed that in our household of six there have been occasions when his assertive strategy backfired. In distinction, my ISFJ mother would bottle up her anger and get passive-aggressive. This might create some fairly bizarre dynamics in our household; one father or mother blowing up and asserting their anger, and the opposite bottling it up and turning into passive-aggressive. Ultimately, this made my ENTJ dad really feel like he couldn’t get an issue solved straight or hash it out with my mother, and my mother felt like he was simply attacking her on a regular basis and never contemplating her emotions.
Right here’s the factor about ENTJs: If there’s an issue they need to clear up it yesterday. In the event that they’re aggravated, they’ll converse up in the event that they assume that can assist. They’re not ones to draw back from confrontation more often than not. This doesn’t imply, nevertheless, that they’re attempting to assault anybody or destroy anybody’s day. Normally they’re looking for a repair, and generally they’re attempting to know. Sure, there are imply ENTJs who’re simply jerks about expressing criticism. However common to wholesome ENTJs are often simply attempting to get to an answer as fast as doable. Their Extraverted Considering needs a fast, environment friendly outcome, and their Introverted Feeling perform needs honesty.
Listed below are a couple of methods ENTJs can course of feelings with out feeling prefer it’s a waste of time:
Schedule reflection time. Block off quarter-hour in your day to consider the way you’re feeling—sure, feelings deserve a spot in your calendar.
Deal with development. Ask your self, “What can I be taught from this emotion?” Reframing it as information could make it extra palatable.
Open up selectively. Share your emotions with somebody you belief, particularly if they provide insights or views you wouldn’t take into account alone.
Stability logic with instinct. Feelings are a part of the massive image. Ignoring them might imply lacking essential cues for development or connection.
Discover out extra about ENTJs: How ENTJs Say “I Love You”
What Do You Assume?
Do you bottle up your emotions or specific them? What ideas or insights have you ever discovered that you might share with different readers? We’d love to listen to from you within the feedback!
Discover extra about your persona kind in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Energy of Persona Kind, The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You may also join with me by way of Fb, Instagram, or Twitter!
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